Martha Would Be Ashamed of Me

I'm sorry Martha, I Sandra Lee'd it! (If you're not familiar with the Food Network star she uses packets of taco seasoning and pre-made everything as shortcuts therefore if you "Sandra Lee" it you take a cooking shortcut involving some sort of processed food.)

I've been doing more baking from one of Martha Stewart's books (Martha Stewart's Baking Handbook) and I've got to admit, I took a few shortcuts. The first short cut isn't actually that bad. Martha has a recipe for fougasse which actually just points you to her french bread recipe but with a different method of shaping it. Her recipe requires you to start a day ahead of time and since I wanted the bread that day and not the next I just used my regular old bread recipe.

On that note I should mention that I've come up with a pretty effective flour ratio to make bread that isn't too crumbly. I use 4 parts bread flour, 1 part whole wheat and 3 parts all purpose flour. So for one batch that is usually 2 cups bread flour, 1/2 whole wheat and 1.5 all purpose flour. The reason I don't use entirely bread flour is that it is more expensive than regular flour but without it my bread comes out too crumbly.

So I followed Martha's instructions for shaping and here is the loaf:


It's supposed to be leaf like? At least it still tasted good but I probably should have stuck with her recipe.

The next escapade was crackers. Since I have less experience making crackers when I tried her recipe I actually followed all the instructions (well up to a point.)

I'm not sure these were technically crackers since they had a little yeast in them, they were actually more like pita bread but either way they were fabulous.

The only hitch in the instructions was that they tell you to use a pasta machine to roll out the crackers. Since we actually have a pasta machine I dusted it off and attempted to roll out the crackers and was totally unsuccessful. Her alternative suggestion was to just use a rolling pin. For me this ended up being so much easier. So why does she point you to such an obscure piece of equipment if a much more common one works just as well (if not better)?


Despite the fact that some came out inexplicably puffy they were really good. They are flavored with Parmesan and rosemary and although this combination was great I can think of tons of others that would be too.

Now I'm afraid I must fess up to my latest baking adventure for which I really pulled a Sandra Lee. I was so tempted by Martha's chocolate mocha roulade recipe that I needed to try it. What's better than basically a giant Swiss Cake Roll? (Sad that Little Debbie is my culinary reference for these.)

I did fine with the cakey part (although it's almost more like a meringue than a cake). I even whipped the egg yolks and whites by hand (with a little slave labor assistance). But then it came time to make the filling and I realized that even if I went out and bought cream to whip (not more whipping!) Mom still wouldn't be able to eat it (lactose intolerance). Then the powers of evil began to do their work on me and I decided that if I bought Cool Whip that would not only save me the trouble, but it is also lactose free! Plus it probably wouldn't cost me much more then a container of cream to whip. I was sold and I've got to say, I don't really regret it. The roulade came out great and it was already enough work without having to make the filling too.

Now to be fair, these recipes are fairly complicated and I will probably need a little more practice baking before I can execute them flawlessly. But I still feel guilty, sorry Martha! (I didn't even take a picture of it, I'm too embarrassed.)

Homemade Bread and Other Food Processor Wonders

Believe it or not one of the most expensive prepared foods we buy is bread. So we decided to try and make as much of our bread from scratch as possible. This was of course greatly aided by the recent arrival of a food processor (yay!) from my cousin Rog (thanks Rog!).

Although a food processor is not necessary for bread making at all it is mighty helpful for kneading if you have scrawny weak arms like me. The basic recipe that came with the food processor is actually quite good. You proof your yeast in warm water with sugar and in the mean time you mix your flour, salt and fat in the processor. You then use the feed spout to slowly pour in the yeasty water (to which you add some ice water) and then let it mix for a few seconds until it is fully kneaded. Then it goes into a bowl to rise, gets shaped, rises again and then is ready to bake.

We have used this recipe to make basic white bread but also bread with some whole wheat flour mixed in, rolls and Italian type loafs.

One of my favorite specialty breads are those long skinny crusty kalamata olive loaves you always see at farmer’s markets for five bucks a pop. I wanted to try to make my own version so I made up a batch of the usual dough but for some reason I thought I should put the olives in with the dry ingredients before adding the liquid. So instead of a lovely white loaf studded with olives I ended up with an interestingly purple colored loaf that had a vague flavor of olives. Oh and it was also gigantic. But still good! (Note to self: add olives AFTER kneading dough with food processor.)

The giant kalamata flavored loaf. You think it's ugly? Check out these rolls:

We have an astounding capacity to make ugly bread (but at least it tastes good).

My other favorite specialty bread is cinnamon raisin bread. I survived much of college eating it with peanut butter and bananas on top for breakfast. So when we went on our bread making kick I knew I had to make myself some. I made regular white dough and after it had been allowed to rise once I smooshed it out into a rectangle. I then sprinkled on cinnamon sugar and a bunch of raisins. I rolled this up and put it in the bread pan to rise again. It was fabulous. I would also like to introduce you to the best peanut butter in the world. It is so fabulous because not only does it contain only peanuts but it is also very fresh. Unfortunately you probably shouldn't bother looking for it because it comes from Providence and I have only found it in a few places in Rhode Island. But if you are a RI resident find it!

(Sorry about the blurry picture but this is the fabulous peanut butter.)

Toasted with peanut butter and bananas on top. Mmmm...must be served with a glass of very cold milk.

We’ve also used the food processor to make cookies. These were actually for an after school program my boyfriend works at and he wanted a Halloween themed snack that wasn’t candy. We got the idea for the icing decoration here (although I actually got the link from this fun site) but the recipe for the cookies here. They were excellent and moist, not like some of those gingerbread cookies that you suspect are designed more for their structural integrity then edibleness.

Naked cookies.

My boyfriend hard at work decorating the cookies.

We had a bunny cookie cutter so I wanted bunny skeletons.

When is a bunny not a bunny? When it's a whale.

I have to admit that the icing wasn’t actually homemade but this stuff that came in a squeeze bottle that was scarily reminiscent of Elmer’s glue. You just pop the bottle in the microwave and squeeze away. Although expensive it was quite handy and dries nice and hard so it doesn’t get smudged.

Besides baking the food processor is also awesome for vegetables. I love that it shreds, I’ve started making more coleslaw then I ever thought I would. We also used it to (finally!) deal with those sugar pumpkins we bought for Halloween decorations. We used Pioneer Woman’s method to make frozen pumpkin puree. There are now 5 two cup bags residing in our freezer waiting for someone to make them into some sort of delicious desert.

Next up for the food processor: ground meat. I'm making my own meatballs and I don't feel like paying $2.99 a pound for ground chicken so I'm going to do it myself!

The Toast Post

In keeping with the theme of frugality I’ve decided to share with you one of my family’s tricks, despite its possibly dire consequences for the cracker industry. Instead of throwing away old stale loaves of French bread (or composting them, although we occasionally do if mold has begun to colonize) we make it into Melba toast.


All you have to is take several day old bread (we’ve found that four or five day old French bread works, but we know for a fact it is baked the day we buy it, this may vary for you) and slice it very thin. We put it on a cookie tray and put it in a very very very low oven for as long as it takes to dry out and become golden. (And if you are as forgetful as my dad you may discover that it is fine even if left over night.) Although this may seem incredibly simple it is a great way to salvage otherwise inedible bread and it is actually better then most crackers (unless you happen to make your crackers fresh also, in which case they may be better).

Although I’m not sure this procedure is exactly in keeping with Escoffier’s original version (he is said to have invented it for the same Australian opera singer which peach melba is named after), it is close enough that when you do it, think not of it as an exercise in frugality, but in keeping with a fine tradition of French cooking.

P.S. In the future our moldy bread may not even make it as far as the compost heap, mom keeps threatening to save it as an emergency antibiotic, just in case the economy collapses and infrastructure breaks down (but remember: do not eat it!).